The Rocco Strangeways Erotic Adventures by Tomé Tourette
The Rocco Strangeways Erotic Adventures Series is written by Tomé Tourette, who knows when to hold them and knows when to fold them, but isn’t quite clear when to run. Tomé Tourette never counts Tomé Tourette’s money when Tomé Tourette’s sitting at the table. Tomé Tourette knows that they’ll be time enough for counting when the dealings done. So that’s why Tomé Tourette writes erotica and tons of it. Enjoy!
I Have Not Yet Begun To Defile Myself: A Rocco Strangeways Life Synopsis
Rocco Strangeways was born in the seacoast town of Burping, NJ, to Cacophony, or Phony, Strangeways and Prudence, or Pru, Strangeways. He had one brother, Brixton Strangeways, who was five years older and approximately five times smarter, if not just five times more industrious, than Rocco.
To put a face to a name, Rocco was a handsome devil, with shimmering blue eyes and dirty blond hair, which he usually kept long, depending on whether or not his mother felt like policing the length. He was of medium height and medium weight. His brother Brixton was similar, but with a slightly lesser degree of handsomeness. Oddly, while Rocco and Brixton both had fair features, their parents both had dark features. This was something that always ate at Rocco, feeding into his on-again-off-again theory that he might be adopted, which was purely conjecture on his part.
Shortly after the age of 5, Rocco’s family moved to the picturesque, quaint little town of Twig, NY, where he lived until the ripe-old age of 10, but was then, once more, uprooted, shortly after his mother’s religious rebirth, to the All-American Bible-toting town of Gargamel, MO, where the majority of Rocco’s erotic adventures would take place.
Throughout his upbringing, Rocco was raised from two differing points of view, one being the seize-the-day almost humanistic style of his father Phony, the other being the on-again-off-again traditional Judeo-Christian style of his mother, which was switched on for good and at full blast after his mother, on the road to Kankles, a department store for large-legged women, where Pru worked at the time, saw the Angel of the Lord on a Bo-Bo’s Burgers billboard, which would end up being the sole reason for her insistence on relocating the family to Gargamel, which all three of the boys; Phony, Brixton, and Rocco, went kicking and screaming.
After the initial culture shock dissipated, all three of the boys seemed to do quite well in Gargamel, with Phony rising quickly in the ranks at 4M, a company similar to 3M, but one M better, and Brixton excelling in the piss-poor local school system and going on to attend college at Dreary, a surprisingly prestigious local university, and Rocco meeting lifelong friend Beatle, and also finding his own way in the piss-poor local school system, able to scrape by with minimal effort, which was something that appealed a great deal to Rocco, leaving Rocco to focus, as much as Rocco was willing to focus, on his other burgeoning endeavors.
Although Rocco’s erotic adventures began very early on, with various girls, and in various settings in and around the Gargamel area, the only ones I’m legally able to tell you about, at least with any detail, are the ones that took place after the age of 18, and let me tell you, as word spread about Rocco and his 11 heavenly inches, seemingly to all the women in and around the Gargamel area, there were a lot.
Rocco At Age 18
Despite his various erotic adventures prior to age 18, Rocco was still relatively new to the world of sex, partially because of his religious upbringing, and partially because Rocco didn’t like applying himself, in anything, even things as instantly rewarding as sex. However, with his very pleasing looks, and his very pleasing 11-inch cock, erotic adventures were almost an inevitability, starting with one between him and his best friend Beatle’s mom Mercy, entitled My Best Friend’s Mom Didn’t Like It When My Girlfriend Left Me With Blue Balls. Next up, was an incident with his mother’s 34-year-old work friend Athena, entitled What Do You Mean I Have To Share My Room With Mom’s Weird Work Friend? And shortly after, an experience alongside his best friend Beatle with their principal’s compulsive exhibitionist wife, entitled Helping Our Principal’s Wife With Her Compulsive Exhibitionism. Next, came an extended affair with his Sunday School teacher, entitled I Get A Good Feeling Helping My Sunday School Teacher Learn How To Swallow (Part 1).
Midway through Rocco’s 18th year, sadly, the chasm between his father and mother, which had formed after Pru’s religious rebirth and grown with every subsequent year, was at its worst, and Phony and Pru, for all intent and purpose, separated, not wholly, since Pru and her religious fanaticism wouldn’t allow a full-blown divorce, but certainly emotionally, in that Pru gave Phony free rein to see other women, just so long as he wasn’t too obnoxious about it, which he never was, except, of course, when he was.
Not long after this marital cell-division, let’s call it, Phony met Naomi at SORZ, a support group for survivors of religious zealots, and began a romantic relationship, which had all the bells and whistles of a marriage, without all the slings and arrows of a marriage. Phony, essentially, became a plural head-of-household, continuing his head-of-household duties at Rocco’s house, while weaving in his head-of-household duties at Naomi’s house. And, with Naomi, came her two very lovely daughters Hannah, who was the same age as Rocco, and Margot, who was five years younger.
With the Strangeways family unit altered beyond recognition, Rocco’s next wave of erotic adventures was set to take place, starting with My Dad’s Girlfriend Has A Zero-Tolerance Policy On Morning Wood. Followed shortly behind by an incident with his dad’s girlfriend’s daughter Hannah, entitled Say Hello To My Not-So-Little Friend. And lastly, was a liaison with his on-again-off-again girlfriend Shimmy-Shimmy-Ko-Ko-Bop’s grandmother Marilyn, entitled I Think My Girlfriend’s Crazy Sexy Grandma Wants To Usher Me Into Manhood.
Rocco At Age 19
Apparently, Gargamel’s piss-poor school system wasn’t piss-poor enough, as Rocco not only needed an extended stay in summer school, but also an extra fall semester, in order to meet all his high school credit requirements and graduate. It wasn’t for lack of trying. Oh, what the fuck, that’s exactly what it was for. Alas, Rocco had outstayed his welcome, and he was shown the door.
Even though Rocco had never shown the least bit interest in college, with there being a half-dozen colleges in Gargamel, Phony insisted Rocco at least try one. So, he did. After all, it’s not like Rocco was in any hurry to enter the workforce, either. However, when Rocco, almost in record time, imploded almost every college class he signed up for, it was becoming more and more apparent it was time for him to start his career, a career of securing one dead-end, meaningless, pointless job after another.
And now, with his patented barely-existing existence lifestyle firmly in place, Rocco was ready to continue his erotic adventures, starting with an extended jaunt in the woods with his ex-biology teacher turned nudist whack-job Beverly, entitled On A Quest To Find My Missing Big-Breasted Biology Teacher (Part 1). This was followed by an incident with an older neighbor, entitled Sometimes It’s Totally Worth It To Help Sexy Old Ladies With Their Groceries.
Rocco At Age 20
After only a year-plus together, Rocco’s father Phony and his father’s girlfriend Naomi’s relationship fell by the wayside. Of course, it didn’t help that Rocco couldn’t keep his hands off Naomi’s eldest daughter Hannah and vise-versa. Regardless, for whatever reason, namely Rocco, the relationship was over. And, for a moment, it seemed as though Phony was going to give his marriage with Pru another go. However, that moment soon passed.
And so, Phony was on the prowl again, in search of his next extra-marital relationship, and even though he promised himself he would take his time this time, and not just grab the first woman he saw, he did exactly that, this time a bonafide tart in 30-year-old Chelsea, who was closer to Rocco’s age than his father’s age, which almost inevitably led to Rocco’s next erotic adventure, entitled Whenever My Dad’s New Girlfriend Gets Too Much Sun She Wants To Fuck Everything In Sight.
Rocco At Age 21
Probably for the best, Rocco was now living on his own. Well, not without financial assistance from his father from time to time, to offset his meager living as a SPCA worker, then a street cleaner for the city, then a burger flipper, then, well, you get the picture.
While working as a street cleaner for the city, Rocco had a very interesting run-in, quite literally, with the mayor’s daughter, entitled That Time Rocco Got Guilted Into Repeatedly Bathing The Mayor’s Adopted Daughter (Part 1).
Rocco Early Twenties and First Significant Relationship
In his early twenties, it was time for Rocco to meet that special someone. I mean, why not? After all, he couldn’t wholly support himself, and he had absolutely no prospects of ever doing so. So, again, why not? In true Rocco Strangeways fashion, he was in no way prepared to search the world far and wide for that special someone, but instead, chose somebody he already knew and loved, on a regular basis, and who knows, maybe only because she was so easy and so available, and that person was his father’s ex-girlfriend Naomi’s eldest daughter Hannah, which led to the following erotic adventure, entitled Having My Fiancée’s Hairy Godmother For Dessert.
To Rocco, perhaps after witnessing firsthand the inexplicable end of his parents’ marriage, the idea of entering into a legally binding commitment, like, say a marriage, seemed more trouble than it was worth. Whether he was aware or not, in most cases, this suited his significant others just fine, at least in the case of Hannah, given Rocco’s piss-poor prospects of ever making a livable wage.
In the midst of Rocco’s first significant relationship, something strange started happening, youngsters started popping up in his home, and suddenly Rocco was almost like a real-live grownup with a significant other and kids with real-live responsibilities, one of which being an active member of the neighborhood, in particular when a nuisance arose and only Rocco’s 11 naughty inches could save the day, which led to Rocco’s next erotic adventure involving his 65-year-old neighbor across the street Galina, entitled Somebody Needs To Take That Bitchy Old Lady Out And Show Her A Good Time (Part 1). However, as an active member of the neighborhood, there were also going to be times when Rocco didn’t want to be so good, and that’s how he ended up with incidents like these ones, I Can’t Tell You How Good It Felt To Finally Let Go In My Neighbor’s Daughter’s Mouth and My Neighbor’s Daughter Thinks The Best Way To Treat Her Stomach Aches Is My Fresh Juice.
Meanwhile, we can’t forget about Rocco’s older brother Brixton, who, after graduating from Dreary University, after floundering as a lowly compensated professor, decided to go with welding as his vocation, seeing how it would be a fast way to earn serious money and fund one of his many entrepreneurial ideas. Brixton was now living in Texas, with his weird girlfriend Molly, who just so happened to have her own entrepreneurial ideas, which led to Rocco’s latest erotic adventure, entitled My Brother’s Weird Girlfriend Wants To Start A Man Draining And Cleaning Service.
As time unraveled, so did much of whatever it was that first drew Rocco and Hannah to each other, as they entered the latter years of what would be a short union. Although Hannah was never an overly jealous woman, actually quite permissive, and at times, even encouraging Rocco in his extra-marital wanderings, all of these wanderings seem to come at a cost. One of these more harmless wanderings was with their 19-year-old babysitter Sara, entitled Our Sexy Little Babysitter Doesn’t Want To Be Paid In Cash But Rather Cum (Part 1).
Another wandering would probably be considered more harmful, and that would be the instance where Rocco couldn’t find work to save his life, so work found him instead, in the shape of The Only Work I Could Find Was Holding Up My Girlfriend’s Grandma’s Big Boobs (Part 1).
Yet another wandering was actually at the insistence of both Hannah and Hannah’s mother, who was also Rocco’s father’s ex-girlfriend Naomi, which led to a rather extended affair entitled That Time Everyone Wanted Me To Run Away With My Babies’ Momma’s Momma’s Momma So I Did (Part 1) and (Part 2), which, ultimately, might have been the nail in the coffin of Rocco’s first significant relationship.
With Rocco’s relationship on life support, he decided to find solace in a much needed trip to see his best friend Beatle, where his next erotic adventure took place, entitiled I Only Fucked My Best Friend’s Wife Up The Ass To Save Their Kids From Heat Stroke.
Rocco After His First Significant Relationship
Some people probably aren’t meant to be free, as Rocco, after his first significant relationship ended, went into a bit of a downward spiral. And at the end of that downward spiral, Rocco found himself in the hands, and mouth, of Violet and her cock-crazed cohorts, in an almost purgatory-long erotic adventure entitled That Time Rocco Was Taken In By A Bunch Of Rude But Sexy Cock-Crazed Bitches (Part 1) and (Part 2).
Rocco Mid-Thirties and Second Significant Relationship
Once Rocco rotated back into society, he rotated back into a significant relationship, this time with a very lovely girl named McKayla, who, unlike Hannah, wasn’t exactly enthused by the idea of being bound to a man with an 11-inch monster cock. In fact, she was actually quite petrified, and that’s how you end up with Rocco’s next erotic adventure, entitled Who Am I To Question A Former Scream Queen’s Strict Blowjob Schedule?
But, Rocco’s relationship with McKayla wasn’t all bad, I mean, she was open enough to share this very special moment between Rocco and Rocco’s best friend Beatle’s daughter Lucy (aka Bedbug), entitled That Special Moment When Your Best Friend’s Daughter Chooses Your Cock To Be Her First.
Rocco After His Second Significant Relationship
A relationship between an accomplished sex fiend like Rocco and a sex neophyte like McKayla was basically doomed from the start. But, Rocco’s heart was in the right place.
Single again, Rocco, who was now in his early forties, soon found himself in more erotic adventures, often with much younger women. Take, for instance, the encounter with one of his short-lived girlfriend’s 22-year-old daughter Tallulah, entitled Coming Hard On My Girlfriend’s Daughter.
Rocco Early Forties and Third Significant Relationship
For Rocco’s third attempt at a significant relationship, he chose Belinda, who was a happy medium, sexually, between Hannah and McKayla, which Rocco really responded to, but, unfortunately, not half as much as he responded to Belinda’s super cute daughter Birdy, as referenced in his dalliance with Belinda’s big sister, entitled I Can’t See How Anyone Could Fault Me For Trying To Warm Up My Girlfriend’s Big Sister, and then realized in Rocco’s next erotic adventure, entitled My Girlfriend’s Super Cute Daughter Really Gets A Kick Out Of My O-Face.
Rocco After His Third Significant Relationship
Three strikes and Rocco was out of significant relationships, feeling as though he was completely mystified by the idea as a whole. No spring chicken anymore, and yet, even with the lines on his face defining themselves more and more with each day and his blue eyes and long flowing blond hair both graying, he still managed to convey a certain amount of youthfulness, even while pushing fifty.
Case in point, Rocco’s final erotic adventure before he hit the fifty mark, entitled I Hope I Didn’t Mess Up That Messed Up Girl Even More By Screwing Her Brains Out (Part 1).
And that concludes the Rocco Strangeways Life Synopsis, thus far. Stay tuned for new Rocco Strangeways Erotic Adventures being added all the time!