The Rocco Strangeways Erotic Adventures by Tomé Tourette
The Rocco Strangeways Erotic Adventures Series is written by Tomé Tourette, who knows when to hold them and knows when to fold them, but isn’t quite clear when to run. Tomé Tourette never counts Tomé Tourette’s money when Tomé Tourette’s sitting at the table. Tomé Tourette knows that they’ll be time enough for counting when the dealings done. So that’s why Tomé Tourette writes erotica and tons of it. Enjoy!
I Have Not Yet Begun To Defile Myself: A Rocco Strangeways Life Synopsis
Rocco Strangeways was born in the seacoast town of Burping, NJ, to Cacophony, or Phony, Strangeways and Prudence, or Pru, Strangeways. He had one brother, Brixton Strangeways, who was five years older and approximately five times smarter, if not just five times more industrious, than Rocco.
To put a face to a name, Rocco was a handsome devil, with shimmering blue eyes and dirty blond hair, which he usually kept long, depending on whether or not his mother felt like policing the length. He was of medium height and medium weight. His brother Brixton was similar, but with a slightly lesser degree of handsomeness. Oddly, while Rocco and Brixton both had fair features, their parents both had dark features. This was something that always ate at Rocco, feeding into his on-again-off-again theory that he might be adopted, which was purely conjecture on his part.
Shortly after the age of 5, Rocco’s family moved to the picturesque, quaint little town of Twig, NY, where he lived until the ripe-old age of 10, but was then, once more, uprooted, shortly after his mother’s religious rebirth, to the All-American Bible-toting town of Gargamel, MO, where the majority of Rocco’s erotic adventures would take place.
Throughout his upbringing, Rocco was raised from two differing points of view, one being the seize-the-day almost humanistic style of his father Phony, the other being the on-again-off-again traditional Judeo-Christian style of his mother, which was switched on for good and at full blast after his mother, on the road to Kankles, a department store for large-legged women, where Pru worked at the time, saw the Angel of the Lord on a Bo-Bo’s Burgers billboard, which would end up being the sole reason for her insistence on relocating the family to Gargamel, which all three of the boys; Phony, Brixton, and Rocco, went kicking and screaming.
After the initial culture shock dissipated, all three of the boys seemed to do quite well in Gargamel, with Phony rising quickly in the ranks at 4M, a company similar to 3M, but one M better, and Brixton excelling in the piss-poor local school system and going on to attend college at Dreary, a surprisingly prestigious local university, and Rocco meeting lifelong friend Beatle, and also finding his own way in the piss-poor local school system, able to scrape by with minimal effort, which was something that appealed a great deal to Rocco, leaving Rocco to focus, as much as Rocco was willing to focus, on his other burgeoning endeavors.
Although Rocco’s erotic adventures began very early on, with various girls, and in various settings in and around the Gargamel area, the only ones I’m legally able to tell you about, at least with any detail, are the ones that took place after the age of 18, and let me tell you, as word spread about Rocco and his 9 naughty inches, seemingly to all the women in and around the Gargamel area, there were a lot.
Rocco At Age 18
Despite his various erotic adventures prior to age 18, Rocco was still relatively new to the world of sex, partially because of his religious upbringing, and partially because Rocco didn’t like applying himself, in anything, even things as instantly rewarding as sex. However, with his very pleasing looks, and his very pleasing 9-inch cock, erotic adventures were almost an inevitability, starting with one between him and his best friend Beatle’s mom Mercy, entitled My Best Friend’s Mom Didn’t Like It When My Girlfriend Left Me With Blue Balls. Next up, was an incident with his mother’s 34-year-old work friend Naomi, entitled What Do You Mean I Have To Share My Room With Mom’s Weird Work Friend? And shortly after, an experience alongside his best friend Beatle with their principal’s compulsive exhibitionist wife, entitled Helping Our Principal’s Wife With Her Compulsive Exhibitionism. Next, came an extended affair with his pastor’s wife Elizabeth, entitled I Get A Good Feeling Helping My Pastor’s Wife Learn How To Swallow (Part 1).
Midway through Rocco’s 18th year, sadly, the chasm between his father and mother, which had formed after Pru’s religious rebirth and grown with every subsequent year, was at its worst, and Phony and Pru separated, and soon after, divorced.
Of the two, Phony was the first to marry again, meeting Naomi at SORZ, a support group for survivors of religious zealots, and shortly thereafter, probably too soon after, married. With Naomi, came her two very lovely daughters Hannah, who was the same age as Rocco, and Margot, who was five years younger.
With the Strangeways family unit altered beyond recognition, Rocco’s next wave of erotic adventures was set to take place, starting with My Dad’s Girlfriend Has A Zero-Tolerance Policy On Morning Wood. Followed shortly behind by an incident with his dad’s girlfriend’s daughter Hannah, entitled Say Hello To My Not-So-Little Friend. And lastly, was a liaison with his on-again-off-again girlfriend Shimmy-Shimmy-Ko-Ko-Bop’s grandmother Marilyn, entitled I Think My Girlfriend’s Crazy Sexy Grandma Wants To Usher Me Into Manhood.
Rocco At Age 19
Apparently, Gargamel’s piss-poor school system wasn’t piss-poor enough, as Rocco not only needed an extended stay in summer school, but also an extra fall semester, in order to meet all his high school credit requirements and graduate. It wasn’t for lack of trying. Oh, what the fuck, that’s exactly what it was for. Alas, Rocco had outstayed his welcome, and he was shown the door.
Even though Rocco had never shown the least bit interest in college, with there being a half-dozen colleges in Gargamel, Phony insisted Rocco at least try one. So, he did. After all, it’s not like Rocco was in any hurry to enter the workforce, either. However, when Rocco, almost in record time, imploded almost every college class he signed up for, it was becoming more and more apparent it was time for him to start his career, a career of securing one dead-end, meaningless, pointless job after another.
And now, with his patented barely-existing existence lifestyle firmly in place, Rocco was ready to continue his erotic adventures, starting with an extended jaunt in the woods with his ex-biology teacher turned nudist whack-job Beverly, entitled On A Quest To Find My Missing Big-Breasted Biology Teacher (Part 1). This was followed by an incident with an older neighbor, entitled Sometimes It’s Totally Worth It To Help Sexy Old Ladies With Their Groceries.
Rocco At Age 20
After only a year-plus together, Rocco’s father Phony and his dad’s girlfriend Naomi had gone their separate ways. Of course, it didn’t help that Rocco couldn’t keep his hands off his dad’s girlfriend’s daughter Hannah and vise-versa. Regardless, for whatever reason, namely Rocco, the relationship was over.
And so, Phony was on the prowl again, this time trying to take his time, but in the end, not taking his time at all, finding a much younger woman, a bonafide tart in 30-year-old Chelsea, who was closer to Rocco’s age than his father’s, which almost inevitably led to Rocco’s next erotic adventure, entitled Whenever My Dad’s New Girlfriend Gets Too Much Sun She Wants To Fuck Everything In Sight.
Rocco At Age 21
Probably for the best, Rocco was now living on his own. Well, not without financial assistance from his father from time to time, to offset his meager living as a SPCA worker, then a street cleaner for the city, then a burger flipper, then, well, you get the picture.
While working as a street cleaner for the city, Rocco had a very interesting run-in, quite literally, with the mayor’s daughter, entitled That Time Rocco Got Guilted Into Repeatedly Bathing The Mayor’s Adopted Daughter (Part 1).
Rocco Early Twenties and First Marriage
In his early twenties, it was time for Rocco to meet that special someone and marry. In true Rocco Strangeways fashion, he chose somebody he already knew and loved, on a regular basis, and who knows, maybe only because she was so easy and so available, and that person was his dad’s ex-girlfriend’s daughter Hannah, which led to the following erotic adventure, entitled Having My Fiancée’s Hairy Godmother For Dessert.
In the midst of Rocco’s first marriage, something strange started happening, youngsters started popping up in his home, and suddenly Rocco was a married man with a wife and kids and responsibilities, one of which being an active member of the neighborhood, especially when a nuisance arose and only Rocco’s 9 naughty inches could save the day, which led to Rocco’s next erotic adventure involving his 65-year-old neighbor across the street Galina, entitled Somebody Needs To Take That Bitchy Old Lady Out And Show Her A Good Time (Part 1). However, as an active member of the neighborhood, there were also going to be times when Rocco didn’t want to be so good, and that’s how he ended up with incidents like these ones, I Can’t Tell You How Good It Felt To Finally Let Go In My Neighbor’s Daughter’s Mouth and My Neighbor’s Daughter Thinks The Best Way To Treat Her Stomach Aches Is My Fresh Juice.
Meanwhile, we can’t forget about Rocco’s older brother Brixton, who, after graduating from Dreary University, after floundering as a lowly compensated professor, decided to go with welding as his vocation, seeing how it would be a fast way to earn serious money and fund one of his many entrepreneurial ideas. Brixton was now living in Texas, with his weird girlfriend Molly, who just so happened to have her own entrepreneurial ideas, which led to Rocco’s latest erotic adventure, entitled My Brother’s Weird Girlfriend Wants To Start A Man Draining And Cleaning Service.
As time unraveled, so did much of whatever it was that first drew Rocco to his wife Hannah, as they entered the latter years of what would be a short marriage. Although Hannah was never an overly jealous wife, actually quite permissive, and at times, even encouraging Rocco in his extra-marital wanderings, all of these wanderings seem to come at a cost. One of these wanderings was with their 19-year-old babysitter Sara, entitled Our Sexy Little Babysitter Doesn’t Want To Be Paid In Cash But Rather Cum (Part 1). Another wandering, was actually at the insistence of both his stepmother Naomi and his wife Hannah, or at least that the way Rocco saw it, and led to a rather extended affair entitled That Time Rocco Acquiesced To Running Away With His Super Horny Sister-In-Law (Part 1) and (Part 2), which, ultimately, might have been the nail in the coffin of Rocco’s first marriage. Lastly, was a wandering involving Rocco’s best friend Beatle’s wife Monica, entitled I Only Fucked My Best Friend’s Wife Up The Ass To Save Their Kids From Heat Stroke.
Rocco After His First Marriage
Some people probably aren’t meant to be free, as Rocco, after his first marriage ended, he entered into a bit of a downward spiral. And at the end of that downward spiral, Rocco found himself in the hands, and mouth, of Violet and her cock-crazed cohorts, in an almost purgatory-long erotic adventure entitled That Time Rocco Was Taken In By A Bunch Of Rude But Sexy Cock-Crazed Bitches (Part 1) and (Part 2).
Rocco Mid-Thirties and Second Marriage
Once Rocco rotated back into society, he rotated back into holy matrimony, this time with a very lovely girl named McKayla, who, unlike Rocco’s first wife Hannah, wasn’t exactly enthused by the idea of being married to a man with a 9-inch monster cock. In fact, she was actually quite petrified, and that’s how you end up with Rocco’s next erotic adventure, entitled Who Am I To Question My Mother-In-Law’s Strict Blowjob Schedule?
But, Rocco’s marriage with McKayla wasn’t all bad, I mean, she was open enough to share this very special moment between Rocco and Rocco’s best friend Beatle’s daughter Lucy, entitled That Special Moment When Your Best Friend’s Daughter Chooses Your Cock To Be Her First.
Rocco After His Second Marriage
Single again, Rocco, who was now in his early forties, soon found himself in more erotic adventures, often with much younger women. Take, for instance, the encounter with his girlfriend’s 22-year-old daughter Tallulah, entitled Coming Hard On My Girlfriend’s Daughter.
Rocco Early Forties and Third Marriage
For Rocco’s third attempt at marriage, he chose Belinda, who was a happy medium, sexually, between his first wife Hannah and second wife McKayla, which Rocco really responded to, but, unfortunately, not half as much as he responded to his 18-year-old stepdaughter, the mega-cute Birdy, as referenced in his dalliance with his sister-in-law, entitled I Don’t See How Anyone Could Fault Me For Simply Trying To Warm Up My Wife’s Big Sister, and then realized in Rocco’s next erotic adventure, entitled My Super Cute Stepdaughter Really Gets A Kick Out Of My O-Face.
Rocco After His Third Marriage
Three strikes and Rocco was out of his third marriage, feeling as though he was completely mystified by the institution as a whole. No spring chicken anymore, and yet, even with the lines on his face defining themselves more and more with each day and his blue eyes and long flowing blond hair both graying, he still managed to convey a certain amount of youthfulness, even while pushing fifty.
Case in point, Rocco’s final erotic adventure before he hit the fifty mark, entitled I Hope I Didn’t Wreck That Epileptic Girl Even More By Screwing Her Brains Out (Part 1).
And that concludes the Rocco Strangeways Life Synopsis, thus far. Stay tuned for new Rocco Strangeways Erotic Adventures being added all the time!